恐惧~

我真的很辛苦

我不想再为装了

我真的真的很辛苦

我真的很压力

我真的忍不住哭了

我讲过我不会再因为害怕你而哭了

但是我做不到

我真的很害怕我变回以前的样子

我已经决定不要爱了

爱只会让人更痛苦

我宁愿一个人一辈子也不要再遇见第二个你

你是我这一辈子的恐惧

你是我这一辈子的后悔

为什么年现在就可以跟别人幸福的而我却是一个人承担你留给我的伤

为什么你可以象什么都没发生过一样？？？

为什么？！！！！

我真的很讨厌你

我不想再变回一年多前的我

我很害怕那个我

我不想再让我妈担心我

我更不想让我姐跟我朋友担心我

我也想要好好过

但是我真的快撑不住了

我已经快要爆炸了

我不知道我自己还能撑多久

我希望能撑更久

我很想把这恐惧丢掉

不要再留在我心里了

你赶快走吧

我求你。。。

still same...

juz now wake up eh time...

the feeling keep cuming...

i think im most relax when i was slping...

thz god for gving me a nice n peace slp...

haiz...

im feeling a bit unwell 2day...

is it becz of my emo problem??

i duno...

i juz feel like i dun wanna eat anything for the whole day...

haiz...

like tis for nw la...

emo+ing life...

duno starting from when i becuming emo gal...

i dun actually noe y i shud emo for...

but i noe i gt a lot of pressure from manythings...

i gt pressure from my family, lfie n study...

family, some sad problem broke ppl's heart and make ppl worry...

life, ok i admit i hv a bit phobia, but it still ok...

study, final is arriving whithin 3 weeks...

im feeling tat the atmosphere around me is black...

and there's a lot of caption for me is "haiz"...

i duno wat to haiz but i haiz for nothing...

i duno wat happen to me...

scare the guys wif action...

i duno im ready enough for another ppl but i do noe im feeling scare...

i emo until i cant even eat or slp well...

thx god, my aunt going bek n i hv my own bed again, yay...

but still wanna haiz gok...

i really dun wan to tell ppl im nt happy...

im trying to pretend tat im happy...

but i duno sumhw ppl will noe it from my face...

i really dun wan let ppl worry abt me...

if nt i will more emo than now...

i will emo until ki siao bor???

i duno tis answer yt but i think 50/ 50 gua the percentage...

i would like to share good thing wif fren but i dun like sharing bad news wif fren...

cz i wan my fren oni happy nia...

haiz....

late d...

wan go bek to emo again...

nite...

duno wat happen to me...

最近都不知道为了什么，我这几天都一直梦到你...

不管是睡午觉或是晚上睡觉，我都会梦到你...

我不只会梦到你，还会梦到你的女朋友...

到底是了为什么，梦到你就很奇怪了，连你的女朋友都梦到就更稀奇了...

为什么每次梦到你我的心就好痛??

为什么我每次梦到你我就很想哭啊??

我不想再酱得过下去。。。

你不痛苦但我很痛苦啊。。。

我希望今晚跟以后我都不会在梦到你了。。。

我想彻底放开你跟我的所有回忆。。。

我不想再想起有你的回忆。。。

我要彻彻底底的把它忘掉。。。

Tag No.4

Taggie Taggie.

1.My Name : Elaine
2.My birthday : 27th July 1990
3.Who tagged you : Hazel
4.Name 5 best friends : SJ, Hazel, Eileen, Carmen and Jacklynn (can i add another 1, Yvonne)
5.What do you wished for birthday : I wish all the people i noe can live happy and stay healty
6.Happy things that happened recently : Playing shooting with frenz in BB
7.Most stressed about recently : So many thing
8.What is your dream about future: Stay in life by my own style
9.Do you have someone you like : Of course, it was my parent and my TVXQ, most of all is my YunHo Oppa....
10.Will you visit your ex-teacher in a classmate gathering : I so far hvnt meet them in the gathering before
11.Most happy to hang out with : My frenz
12.If two of your friends are having conflicts : If can i will give them advice and make them frenz again
13.Where is preferably the place to go with your lover : I was confusing between Japan or Korea
14.What to do in Christmas : Waking up early and go shopping with my mum
15.Who do you want to celebrate Christmas with : Family or Friends
16.Bad habit on waking up early in the morning : Still laying there for a few minutes
17.How many siblings do you have : 1 brother
18.Favourite song(Female) : Woah, so many cannot write them out la...><><>4. May Ling
5. Hazel

02-【No.10 is a male or?】: Male gua, duno...
03-【The hobby of no.8】: Duno...
04-【Does no. 1 have any siblings】: 1 elder sister and 2 younger sisters
05-【The surname of of no.7】：Duno...
06-【Does no.10 have a lot of friends?】: Duno la...
07-【Anyone tackling no.4?】: Maybe got gua...
08-【If no.2 is being introduced?】：Erm....
09-【The favourite colour of no.6】: Duno...
12-【Where is no.5 studying currently?】: DIP-BUS
13-【How do you know no.10?】: Duno...
14-【Wad the difference between the birth month of no.1 and you?】: 3 months
15-【Ever hang out with no.9?】：Got gua...
16-【Do you like to chat with no.2?】: Ya, we talk so much thing...
17-【Like to be with no.3?】: Yes gua...
18-【How do you think about no.7?】：Duno...
19-【How do you think about no.9?】：Duno...
20-【Do you love no.5?】: Ya, she is the fren that like hanging out...

NUMBER.
1.Who tagged you with this questionnaire? : Hazel
2.How long have you known him/her : About a year plus
3.Do you think that he/she is important to you? : Quite gua
4.Your relationship with him/her : Schoolmates
5.Whats his/hers hobby? : Hanging out with friends, Blogging, MSN+ing, Shooting people in BB
6.What do you think about his/her personality? : Friendly and Nice
7.His/her points of importance in your heart : My friend

＊1st thing before sleep : Laying down on my bed
＊1st thing after awaking from sleep : Wash face
＊Your idol : TVXQ and mostly YunHo... and a lot more korean idol...
＊Favourite season : All gua
＊Worked part-time before? : Yes
＊Times worked : 3
＊Country that wanted to go the most : Confusing between Japan and Korea
＊Personality hated : Bad personality people... Like Ms F
＊Are you a crybaby? : No la, im not that useless gok
＊You laugh alot? : Ya, I laugh almost everyday, anytime and everywhere
＊Do you like to go out alone? : I can after i start my college life
＊What time will you wake up if it's a holiday? : Depends on what time i sleep, but i still will sleep when i bored
＊Today’s weather（Sunny Rainy Cloudy）: Sunny day
＊Choose between Friends and Lover : Friends
＊Choose between Chances and Fates : Chances
＊Are you narcissist? : Not so gua
＊Is this questionnaire long? : Ya la
＊Favourite food : Japanese Food
＊Do you like ice? : Yes
＊Are you full of happiness? : Yes, but will emo when im blogging
＊Who are the friends that you care the most? : College friends
＊What's the most important item in your bed room? : Air-cond, nowdays I can't sleep without air-cond cz the weather is too hot
＊Most consistent dream at sleep : Erm, i duno wor
＊Will you forgive a guy that is mentally disobedient? : Duno wor, depends gua
＊Whats the meaning of life? : To live a meaningful life
＊Do you know?（See if you can answer this! ）: Wan me know wat wor...
＊When do you hate me? : Never
＊Like the day you were born or been into the society?: Ya, cz less people born in this day i guess...
＊Like Taoism or Confucianism? : Buddhistism
＊Favourite cake? : Cheese cakes, Blackforest and Blueberry
＊Can we stop this game now? : Yes
＊Do you like sardines?: Sometimes
＊Who knows you the best? : My sis
＊IQ higher or EQ? : I duno wor
＊Computer or Mobile Phone : Computer
＊Prefer to sleep or play? : Sleep
＊Friendster or Facebook? : Facebook
＊Whats your wish right now? : I wish i can stay healthy and happy
＊Tired? : A bit, but i just wake up nia =.="
＊Favourite drinks : Mocha Frappachino, Crysantinum and Ice-lemon Tea

ichibanzai 09~ part 1

today is the first day of KDU 2009 ichibanzai~

erm, first i think tis year eh ichibanzai is nt as many ppl as last year...

erm, i think nw i start my complaining again...

To SOMEBODY, u din go thr to help but u go thr to kacau ppl work...

To SOMEBODY, u go thr to kao zha bo n ur nt helping us...

To SOMEBODY, again u say the food is nt nice but u still buy it to eat, wat do u mean...

To SOMEBODY, again i duno i can tahan u until when, i duno when i will explode...

To SOMEBODY, do u hv a problem on ur fashion senses? do u noe wat is the code dress for u to wear on particular event? do u nid some ppl to help u?

To SOMEBODY, v all expect u to fall down but unfortunately u din, so disappointed... haiz...

To Mr.BANGLADESH, y u sit bus knt sit hor hor eh? i ade siam u siam kah no place to siam d, ade tak piak d, u still wan sit beside me n sit a huge spaces, bus so big u knt sit other place meh, nge nge wan sit wif me meh?!!! kek si nia, plz respect ppl la, u cum other ppl country d, u still doing tat to the ppl who gv u some place eh...

haiz... these day i really complain a lot...

To my frenz,

nut, i duno i hv been emo recently on my blog...

i juz wanna spit out all thing nia...

sj, i noe u recently really bz bcz of doing so many things at the same time, but take care of urself, dun let urself to tired oooo....

car, leen n von, gambateh on hving a fren like her, if anything lane can help eh, lane will help u all dao di eh... i support u all...

yay, 2day gt c diok quite handsome eh visual kei...

quite yang yan eh...XD

can gv my eyes on a spa treatment neh...

thx to u ooo...

yunho oppa, i still love u eh but i hv to spa my eyes oso when i hv real chance...

if u jealous eh hua, u diok cum msia c me la, i gv ur eyes a spa treatment.... XD

von n leen 2day wear yukata nice lo, so im gonna wear it 2mr, muahaha...

hope it will nice la...

happy to c diok vic n apple neh...

long time no c d...

have so much fun 2day...

2mr is the laz day...

minasan, gambateh kudasai...

at last 1 yunho oppa pic...XD

recently...

To SOMEBODY, u nw noe tat hw other ppl thought abt u...

so plz do change urself...

if u noe n din change urself, ppl will still boycotting u...

To SOMEBODY, u wasnt her servant, u no nid to do as she said eh...

try to do sumthing tat let her noe she cant do tat to u oso...

To SOMEBODY, i c diok u gt bf i happy for u but in the same time,

i felt lagi scare abt hving a bf cz many problem will happen eh...

To SOMEBODY, i scare tat u will explode all the thing out to SOMEBODY,

at that time v all die... (scare)

To SOMEBODY, i duno hw to talk wif u lo, when tat time u call me i was thinking hw to make u hung up...

To SOMEBODY, although v sakit kepala on whether wan u go trip wif us or nt oso duno, call u diok knt sampat so much, din call u diok scare u noe liao angry wif us, headache lo...

To SOMEBODY, i dun wan u go trip wif us oso, u r banded out of our trip...

To SOMEBODY, haiz i duno wan complain wat liao...

seriously, i was having so much pressure nw...

i pass my ae3, MIS n bus stat so far, but i noe i failed law...

the law lec is damn so gila one...

u din tell us wat is ur style of wan us to answering the question but u minus our marks bcz of tat...

wat the heck person are u???

are u mad? are u going on some manopause period? did u gt problem or nt?

y u do tis to us?

sumore the ass tat u gv us, v really duno wat is tat E.R, R.E.P stands for...

cant u try to teach or explain to us first?

i really mad of u, u beh syok us wat?

from nw on, i wont pay too much attention on ur class...

i really scare of BF liao,

i c ppl pak tor until i scare ki...

haiz, i... i... duno wan say wat liao...

i realiza tat guan lai wo men jia de ah nut gt exercise eh lo...

aiseh, praise her yi xia xia...

haha, ah nut trust me, ur nt fat la, u nt over-lenglui or under-lenglui, u r tu tu hor...

haha, ah nut jia you ooo...

everyone oso jia you ooo....

haiz, late d...

wanna slp d...

oyasumi nasai.... ><

i wonder...

i wonder wat is love...

yesterday nite when i was chatting wif ah yeh eh time...

v was talking abt love...

i was wondering wat is love now???

aren't love suppose to be a thing that make ppl happy...

but y its making ppl suffering from it??

its a deep question for me,

i duno i nid how much time to think out tis answer...

but i think there wont be any answer rite?

cz if thr are answer for it,

ppl wont be suffer from it...

but still a lot of ppl are falling into it...

love is a big question even go wikipedia oso cant find the answer i want...

n hw to reject ppl oso is a big question for me...

i wan to reject him but hw i do i reject him n wont hurt diok his feeling...

ok, form 3 eh time i use one of my fren as an excuse...

but nw i wan use wat as an excuse d...

i admit it i reject him eh biggest problem is his skin tone is darker than me a lot...

n the most important is i dun hv feeling wif u...

u call me baby oso no use, u telling me u miss me oso no use...

u noe y no use cz i hv no feeling wif u...

n most of all i think u r a bit playboy...

so plz dun say miss me or calling baby again...

im nt ur gf la...

u wan go find 1 la...

im nt suitable for u...

besides that, to mr. duno who, if next time u wanna ply wif me think u can win bor first...

wan talk like tat eh thing wif me is like u sending urself to hell...

im evil eh ok...XD

i really duno wat ur mind think wat...

U R REALLY REALLY STUPID!!!!!

if u mess up wif me, u hv to ready first cz u gonna mess up by me....

muahaha...

beside tat, i found diok oppa eh handsome pic d...

really nice eh...

for me la...